i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
