You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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