My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
