Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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