I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
