I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
