That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
