how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
