Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
