You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize