btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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