Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she looked like the before picture.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
