My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
