boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
