It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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