Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
