This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
