sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
