My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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