question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
as a side note pls kill me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
