Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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