Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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