what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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