By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
