What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
