i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She bit a glass in half.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
