problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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