apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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