I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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