this beer tastes like vomit already
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
