why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
