I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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