Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
