don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
