she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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