There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
