You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
