my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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