I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
