do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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