Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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