i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
