Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i think my mom watched the whole time
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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