Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
