My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
