Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
