If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize