I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Green mimosas i think yes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
