he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
