Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
