I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
