he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
