Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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