And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
