I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
