I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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