We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
