oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I am available for nakedness
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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