I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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